So

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1.4MB. 90 second clip.

And she says: "Zoe means life. That would make a beautiful name for our baby daughter." She says this as I put my ear to her belly to hear the life growing therein. So I say: "How can you be so sure it's a daughter? It sounds to me like a little man is swimming inside you." And she says: "Cuz Jesus promised me a little girl. Another man in this family would just exacerbate the mess we're in." So I look her in the eye and I ain't certain if she's trying to tell me she loves me or if she's trying to tell me she's been hurting. I don't know which is worse, but either way: she persecutes me with her eyes.

So lately I'm trying so hard to be so...

So she says: "I am your wife, so black man you oughta." She says this as I put my cheek to her belly to feel the life growing therein. So she says: "Brotherman you need to get your act together and articulate some of what you're keeping bottled up inside you." Just as I'm about to respond to her, baby Zoe kicks me in the chin.

So lately I'm trying so hard to be so...

Anima rising. Uprising in me tonight. Anima rising. So what? Fidelis. Fidelis. Fidelis. So...

So she says: "Darling, good night. I'll wake you up if I break my water." Still silent I recoil with a hand to my belly to feel the butterflies growing therein. So she puts out the light, puts a hand on my shoulder and puts two lips to my ear. It's amazing what a kiss can do, cuz suddenly I have no fear. I know that'll change in the morning, so:

I'm gonna have to try harder so much harder to be so... very... so... completely... so... absolutely... so... good god.... So damn.

'Anima rising'

This is the only song on the record that was not written in 2003.

In fact, the song was 8 years old when it was recorded.

And it mentions Zoe by name.

Conceived in 1995. (The song, that is.) As my wife and I were out on our first date.

Only she wasn't my wife then. And it wasn't a date, we were just friends. (That was her call, not mine. Passive Bry-Bry just plays along.)

The scene? A reading at Capital Rep in Albany to benefit the local chapter of Literacy Volunteers of America.

A local author was among those on the bill. She read from her book about a little girl she decided to name Zoe, because "Zoe means life," and this little girl - the main character of her book - was "full of life."

Cindy and I talked about what a great name Zoe was.

I had just purchased my first acoustic guitar - a piece of shit used Ovation for $150 - and I wrote the song shortly thereafter. Imagining how scared I would be - terrified - to father a child. I could taste the terror. It came pretty easily.

The first recording of "So" from the fall of 1995 became the lead track on the first mix tape of my own music that I ever gave to Cindy. Or more specifically, it was the lead track on side two: the first side was a Joni mix. I called it "Cindy's Mighty Mitchell and Misery Mix." The Joni side was labeled simply "Mitchell," the side with my stuff was called "Misery."

(A little background: on the night I first met Cindy, about a year before I gave her the tape, I mentioned something in passing about a terrible cover band. So she put two and two together and asked if I was a musician. and without skipping a beat I said: "No." A flat-out lie. Because God forbid we have to start talking about me and my music. So, really, giving her this tape was the first time I was acknowledging to her that yes, I make music. Using the term loosely.)

Fast-forward to 2002. We're married. We're expecting. So the terror is revisited. For real this time.

When I first wrote the song, the middle section included some dark references to the fact that the husband suspected the wife was cheating on him, and vice versa: I edited it out almost before it was even written, but summed up that darkness in a brief allusion to Joni's haunting, perfect, knock-me-down-every-time-I-hear-it 'Don't Interrupt the Sorrow,' which also plays with a he-said vs. she-said lyric from verse to verse.

Anima rising.

Revisiting the song as it appears on Babylon, the darkness isn't the relationship of the couple at all.

It's the darkness of the world around them.

Born with the moon in Cancer

The version of Joni Mitchell's "Little Green" that appears on the New Orleans tribute CD is actually the main riff of "So" with Joni's lyrics and melody grafted on top.

Another song about a pretty baby girl.

And conflict.


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	So Listen 1.4MB. 90 second clip. And she says: "Zoe means life. That would make a beautiful name for our baby daughter." She says this as I put my ear to her belly to hear the life growing therein. So I say: "How can you be so sure it's a daughter? It sounds to me like a little man is swimming inside you." And she says: "Cuz Jesus promised me a little girl. Another man in this family would just exacerbate the mess we're in." So I look her in the eye and I ain't certain if she's trying to tell me she loves me or if she's trying to tell me she's been hurting. I don't know which is worse, but either way: she persecutes me with her eyes. So lately I'm trying so hard to be so... So she says: "I am your wife, so black man you oughta." She says this as I put my cheek to her belly to feel the life growing therein. So she says: "Brotherman you need to get your act together and articulate some of what you're keeping bottled up inside you." Just as I'm about to respond to her, baby Zoe kicks me in the chin. So lately I'm trying so hard to be so... Anima rising. Uprising in me tonight. Anima rising. So what? Fidelis. Fidelis. Fidelis. So... So she says: "Darling, good night. I'll wake you up if I break my water." Still silent I recoil with a hand to my belly to feel the butterflies growing therein. So she puts out the light, puts a hand on my shoulder and puts two lips to my ear. It's amazing what a kiss can do, cuz suddenly I have no fear. I know that'll change in the morning, so: I'm gonna have to try harder so much harder to be so... very... so... completely... so... absolutely... so... good god.... So damn.	'Anima rising' This is the only song on the record that was not written in 2003. In fact, the song was 8 years old when it was recorded. And it mentions Zoe by name. Conceived in 1995. (The song, that is.) As my wife and I were out on our first date. Only she wasn't my wife then. And it wasn't a date, we were just friends. (That was her call, not mine. Passive Bry-Bry just plays along.) The scene? A reading at Capital Rep in Albany to benefit the local chapter of Literacy Volunteers of America. A local author was among those on the bill. She read from her book about a little girl she decided to name Zoe, because "Zoe means life," and this little girl - the main character of her book - was "full of life." Cindy and I talked about what a great name Zoe was. I had just purchased my first acoustic guitar - a piece of shit used Ovation for $150 - and I wrote the song shortly thereafter. Imagining how scared I would be - terrified - to father a child. I could taste the terror. It came pretty easily. The first recording of "So" from the fall of 1995 became the lead track on the first mix tape of my own music that I ever gave to Cindy. Or more specifically, it was the lead track on side two: the first side was a Joni mix. I called it "Cindy's Mighty Mitchell and Misery Mix." The Joni side was labeled simply "Mitchell," the side with my stuff was called "Misery." (A little background: on the night I first met Cindy, about a year before I gave her the tape, I mentioned something in passing about a terrible cover band. So she put two and two together and asked if I was a musician. and without skipping a beat I said: "No." A flat-out lie. Because God forbid we have to start talking about me and my music. So, really, giving her this tape was the first time I was acknowledging to her that yes, I make music. Using the term loosely.) Fast-forward to 2002. We're married. We're expecting. So the terror is revisited. For real this time. When I first wrote the song, the middle section included some dark references to the fact that the husband suspected the wife was cheating on him, and vice versa: I edited it out almost before it was even written, but summed up that darkness in a brief allusion to Joni's haunting, perfect, knock-me-down-every-time-I-hear-it 'Don't Interrupt the Sorrow,' which also plays with a he-said vs. she-said lyric from verse to verse. Anima rising. Revisiting the song as it appears on Babylon, the darkness isn't the relationship of the couple at all. It's the darkness of the world around them. Born with the moon in Cancer The version of Joni Mitchell's "Little Green" that appears on the New Orleans tribute CD is actually the main riff of "So" with Joni's lyrics and melody grafted on top. Another song about a pretty baby girl. And conflict.