Talk

The 'Best Of' Times

posted: Thursday, July 27, 2000. 3:00 a.m.

Albany. A certain Lark Street restaurant. Wednesday nite. Or Thursday morning, as it were.

Troy and I are winding down a long evening when he spots the much-anticipated annual "Best Of" issue of a certain local weekly mag.

A guy's reading it. Standing at the bar.

Here's the catch: this issue won't officially hit the public until later today. Long after the sun comes up.

But this guy at the bar has an advance copy cuz... well, cuz he's The Guy.

Now, me? I know it'll be a cold day in hell before I get props from said mag.

But Troy's got a hunch that his band - the Kamikaze Hearts - is getting a mention. No one's specifically said so. But he's gotten some hints here and there. Positive hints. He's just not sure what exactly the props are gonna be.

Best Punk Bluegrass?

Best Bluegrass Punk?

Best Grasspunk Blues?

"I want that mag," he says.

Wait: The Guy moves a little further down the bar. Right across from us. So The Mag is close now. Real close.

"Just ask him if you can look at it," I say. As if I'd ever do that if I were in his shoes.

"Like you'd ever do that if you were in my shoes," he says.

"Actually, I think I'm in it this year," I say.

"Really? Cool. In what category?

I name several possibilities. Right off the top of my head. Each includes an expletive and the word "negro."

Okay: The Guy leans away from the bar. Goes to the bathroom.

"It's yours man. You've got about two minutes to find your shit," I say.

Troy's nervous. But he leaps up. Looks at it. Touches it.

The bartender looks at him funny.

Everybody looks at him funny.

"Aaaaaaaah," he says.

He runs back to his seat. We laugh.

The Guy returns. None the wiser. He pays his tab. Leaves with The Mag.

"Ummmm... that didn't work out so well," Troy says, returning to his salad.

Much props and congrats to Troy Pohl and the Kamikaze Hearts for nailing a "Best Of" mention in that certain unnamed publication. The actual category they won is still a mystery to us as of this writing. I am confident that it includes neither an expletive nor the word "negro."

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